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«Four-Sided Triangle» («the Quadrilateral triangle») is included into number of my most favourite episodes of the anthology «Байки from a crypt». By and large in it anything especial is not present – either superfluous кровищи, or humiliating black humour, gradual forcing of atmosphere парализующего fear, however it nevertheless "has hooked" on me. Probably, business in brilliant director's work and, forgive for a spoiler and raised "calm", in the optimistic ending of a series marking a celebration of good over harm (in «Байках» seldom come across episodes when really it would be desirable to rejoice with all the heart for the main character). By the way, the episode ending has appeared enough original and unexpected – not each film fan can foresee it. (To read further)

«For Cryin ’ Out Loud» («the Internal voice»-), probably, it is possible to name an author's translation one of the most ridiculous and amusing episodes «Баек from a crypt». This full of black humour and horrible fun a series professional script writer Джеффри has removed the Price which has thought up plots of such popular films as «Wild, wild Вест», «As Гринч has stolen Christmas», «Who has substituted Roger's rabbit» and a cartoon film «Шрек the Third». It is very a pity, that «the internal voice» is its unique work in a director's field as this episode it has shown considerable creative potential in absolutely new to it role. Moreover, I consider, that to many eminent film affairs specialising on foolish comedies, it would be necessary to learn to skill at a Price, managed all for half an hour of television time competently and more exhaustively to tell interesting, comical (without any platitudes and humour «below a belt») and not deprived characteristic for «Баек» certain violence history about human greed. Certainly, to success of this episode at a television audience to no small degree promoted and perfectly picked up actor's structure. In leading roles the actors having wide experience of work in comedy serials and entertaining tapes have acted in film. Whether it is a question about Аренберге (the trilogy «Pirates of Caribbean sea», «the Vault of dragons», «the Water world») and Кэйти Сагал, unforgettable Пегги Банди from ridiculous American ситкома «Are married and with children» which was vulgarised by the Russian businessmen-TV men who have created on its basis a silly and obscene serial «Are happy together» (the American version too you will not name ideal as regards decency, however it is impossible so frankly and roughly to transfer the western realities on our cultural soil – as a result turns out one scabrousness). Besides, the internal voice of hero Arenberga has sounded rather popular in the USA стэндапер (from English standup comic – the comedian acting with comic monologue and jokes before "live" public) Sam Kinison. «The internal voice» is remarkable also participation in it world famous rokera-alternativshchika Игги the Priest («Coffee and cigarettes», "Dead person", «Сид and Нэнси»), played this time itself. (To Read further)

One more sad, мрачноватый and practically deprived characteristic for all serial «Баек from a crypt» black humour an episode «The Sacrifice» ("Sacrifice") has been put by the beginner in the big cinema Richard Grinberg having in the creative luggage only one full-length tape for children «Small monsters». Grinberg is more known as the expert and the adviser for optical effects ("Predator", «the Lawyer of a devil», «Last filmstar»), rather than as the director. As a whole, the episode plot represents certain interest but if not participation in it of such remarkable actors as rigid and charismatic Michael Ajronsajd ("Machinist", «the Star landing», «to Recollect all») and sexy Ким Дилэни («Mission to Mars», «Group Delta», "Seductress"), this series would lose all charm and has turned to detective history a la James Hedli Chejz (very much I love its products, but hardly they approach for «Баек») or, at worst, in trivial «a soap opera». Inherent in the majority «Баек» and horrors here are not present cruelty and in помине. Nevertheless, obligatory for this teleserial final "twist", i.e. unexpected turn of a plot, in "Sacrifice" nevertheless is available (though some skilled film fans will foresee the ending without special difficulties).

On the instructions of boss Dzherri of Jasper (Michael Ajronsajd) insurance agent James Read (Кевин Килнер – «One houses 3», «the American pie 2», «the Penalty heavenly») comes to a penthouse to one of the richest people of Los Angeles Себастьяну Филдингу (Don Is thin - «the Verdict for money», "Ed Wood", «Bad little girls») with the offer it is favourable to it to insure the life (being old friends, Филдинг and Jasper in advance have agreed about this transaction). During conversation with Fildingom Read gets acquainted with the young, beautiful and elegant wife of millionaire Gloria (Ким Дилэни) with which falls in love at first sight. Read and Gloria start to meet secretly. On one of appointments Read, definitively having lost mind from love to Gloria, instigates it to arrange Филдингу accident. Having come to Филдингу for transfer to it a part of the commission fee (the arrangement was that – otherwise the greedy millionaire would refuse the transaction), Read dumps the rich man from a balcony of its penthouse. After Read's murder and the newly made widow boss James starts to blackmail, the Jasper which has photographed the moment of fulfilment of a crime from a balcony opposite at home, in which it rents apartment, as it has appeared, specially for shadowing Gloria to convict it of change to the already to the late friend. Джерри money, and attractive Gloria's body are necessary not. Now under the first requirement it should come to it and meet all its low desires. James, suffering with jealousy and pity to Gloria and being terrified from its stories about it is exposed to what humiliating sexual distortions from party Dzherri, finds unique, in its opinion, an exit from the developed hopeless situation …

As a whole a quite good episode about the love falsities, the confirming thesis that the majority of men often lose a head from beautiful women, forgetting thus about their insidiousness.

All is good, however "Sacrifice" as I already spoke above, not absolutely corresponds to the concept «Баек from a crypt».

With the big stretch 4 with a minus from 5 (and that thanks to remarkable game Айронсайда and Дилэни).

Not so skilled director Fred Dekker (behind his shoulders only three films, including «Робокоп 3» and «Group of monsters») has removed enough средненький an episode for «Баек from a crypt», entitled «The Thing from the Grave» («From a tomb»). The plot, as well as the name, are banal enough – they are typical for numerous cheap horror films of a category. This series the actor's structure – beautiful and charming Тэри Хэтчер (the serial «Desperate housewives», "Children-spies", Bond «will not die Tomorrow never») and the magnificent cinema villain with big experience Мигель Феррер («Night flight», «Робокоп» rescues only, "Traffic").

Young photographer Kejts (Кайл Сикор – «City fops», «In beds with the enemy») falls in love with model Stejsi (Тэри Хэтчер), but hesitates to tell to it about the feelings. On one of photosessions comes rather impudent Митч (Мигель Феррер), naming the manager and groom Stejsi who is engaged in criminal affairs. Having noticed mutual liking between Кейтсом and Стейси, it in a boorish way conducts itself(himself) and offends the photographer. Having understood, with what type lives Стейси, Кейтс gives it keys from the studio and says, that it can move at any moment to it. Same evening on a studio threshold appears with things covered with bruises Стейси and asks Кейтса to allow to live to it at it some time. The photographer opens to it the heart and gives a magic necklace, having promised, that it will always protect it. Митч, having learnt, that Стейси has moved to Кейтсу, a deceit entices the contender for a city where safely kills him from a pistol, and then digs in in in advance prepared tomb. Having solved, that Стейси has suspected wrong, the gangster and it brings to the same place to finish with it, as with Кейтсом. Despite its calls for help helps it at night with backwoods can nobody, unless the earthed corpse of the photographer …

Very ordinary-looking episode about all-conquering love and indestructibility of promises. Серенько.

3 from 5

Author's translation

The fifth episode of the second season «Баек from a crypt» «Three’s a Crowd» («the Third superfluous»), in my opinion, is one of the most gloomy and unhumorous series of all anthology. It has been removed by director David Burton Morrisom specialising in basic on the teleplays. In «Байках» it is not enough similar episodes – any supernatural beings do not appear in them, there are no magic spells, there is no firm "black" humour etc. «the Third superfluous» is quite plausible history which can happen in ours with you of a real life. It it is terrible and burdensome. Especially Моррису the ending has gone right, basically, rather predicted, but made is masterful. Looking through this episode, in a shower you hope for happy end, however it «Байки from a crypt», and they practically never come to an end on the optimistic note.

Richard (Gay veins О’Херлихи – «Desire of death 3», «Never speak“ never ”», «the Superman 3») considers itself as the loser. It is oppressed constantly with that at it with wife Delloj (Руфь де Соза – «My life», «the Captain the Hook», «Planes, trains and cars») does not turn out to get the child in any way. Besides, recently it seems to it, that it from it hides any secret. Here and now, the lovely wife goes shopping four hours though promised to come in an hour-other. But the most awful that it is devoured from within with terrible jealousy of the friend to a family, Richard's old friend and the former boyfriend of his wife provided and successful in all to Alan (the television actor Floor Либер) which too much attention gives Делле. Now, for example, it accompanied it during a campaign on shops and even has presented to it a smart white coat. Pity and spineless Richard needs to do nothing how to drink whisky a glass behind a glass. On the eve of a decade of their wedding Alan suggests all to go on a boat on island, where there is its country cottage to note this solemn event. Richard agrees with a reluctance. Having arrived on a place, Richard and Делла take places on the second floor of the spacious rich house which all walls are covered by the hunting trophies and the weapon. Alan is arranged in a guest small house near to a cottage. Richard notices, that Делла and Alan often retire also something conspiratorially discuss. Having woken up at night, Richard does not find out near to itself the wife. It leaves a room and sees, how on the ground floor behind little table Делла and Alan обговаривают any plan. Words of the wife reach it that its former life comes to an end and the new begins. Poor Richard understands, that Делла is going to throw and leave it to Alan. Next day Делла with the friend leave to walk, and remained one in the house and Richard tormented with acute jealousy starts to get drunk gradually. Losing mind on this soil, it rummages in personal things of the wife and finds the proof of change Деллы – brand new sexual underwear which he never on it saw. Richard goes down downwards and removes from a wall hunting арбалет. After a while there is Alan and invites Richard in a guest small house, saying, that they with Деллой have for it a surprise. But Richard too has a surprise for Alan and the wife …

Моррис has removed an excellent and impressing episode. It will be useful to look it not only to admirers of the Keeper of a crypt and qualitative thrillers, but also selfish ревнивцам.

5 from 5.

Author's translation

The next episode of the second season «Баек from a crypt» «’ Till Death» («While the death will not separate») despite amusing (but rather unpretentious) the plot and black humour did not become appreciable event of this anthology of horrors. Moreover, along with «Резаным poker» I rank it as group frankly weak «баек» a season. The reason, probably, here is covered in director Chris Valase, practically not having any experience in direction. In total in its director's luggage two feature films – «the Fly 2», not going in any comparison with David Kronenberga's magnificent tape "Fly", and the cheap horror film "Tramp" which has been removed already after its debut in «Байках». Though on the basic sort of activity Chris Valas is the master on a make-up and special effects, the episode is deprived any impressing visual effects.

The greedy land owner Logan Andrews (D.V.Moffet – "Traffic", «Escaping beauty», «I have had enough!» ) Has fraudulently bought the earth under building of the first class hotel, however territories belonging to it are strongly boggy (business, probably, occurs somewhere on one of islands of Caribbean basin) and that them to drain, considerable capital investments are necessary. In addition to all hired Negroes refuse to work – are afraid to sink in bogs (such precedent already took place). The partner of Logan doctor Freddi (Обри Моррис – «the Legend about a mummy», «the Bloody brothel», «Vital force») acquaints it with rich Englishwoman Margaret Richardson (Памела Гин – «Last вечеря», «Men in search of women»). Despite all attempts of Logan поухаживать for the rich woman, Маргарет concerns it it is indifferent, even with some hostility. Having given up hope by own strength to win heart (and money) the haughty Englishwoman, Logan addresses for the help to the local sorcerer practising magic вуду (Джанет Hjubert-Vitten – «the Agent on ice», «the Californian myth») from which earlier it had close relations. The sorcerer hating him, guessing true intentions of the land owner, nevertheless agrees to help and gives it a bewitching potion for Маргарет. Thus she warns Logan that is enough only one drop that Маргарет has wanted to become his wife. If to add to it two drops it will belong to it for ever. Logan finds possibility to drip a potion in a glass with wine Маргарет, and same night it comes to it to a bedroom. In the morning Logan for strengthening of "effect of love» pours out all contents of a vial from the sorcerer in champagne of the woman. Having accepted a "horse" dose of a potion, Маргарет dies – the death is ascertained by urgently caused doctor Freddi. In the evening after funeral Logan, having got drunk from a grief of that has not had time to marry on Маргарет and to reach its money, comes on its tomb. Suddenly, unexpectedly, from recently dug hole gets out nothing understanding Маргарет. At first Logan considers, that there was an awful error, and she was buried alive, however then he starts to notice strange and horrible changes in appearance Маргарет and to feel the unpleasant smell proceeding from it …

Chris Valas has shifted on a film expression known for all «love to a coffin», however, as I specified above, not so professionally. This episode has not so liked me – after its viewing the impression that it has been removed by the fan from cinema (by and large so it and is) was made. Nevertheless, for the sake of curiosity to familiarise with it it is possible.

3 from 5.

Author's translation

«Cutting Cards» («Резаный poker») became second director's work Уолтера Hilla in the anthology «Байки from a crypt» after a pilot series «the Person who was death». Basically, this episode is benefit performance, though also not so successful, two remarkable actors – Лэнса Хенриксена («the Stranger against the Predator», «the fear House», «Colour of night») and Кевина Тига ("Whore", «That гложет Gilbert Grejpa?», «the Roadside snackbar»).

In a casino there are two bewitched contenders, to death of the professional player hating each other – Рино Кревис (Лэнс Хенриксен) and Sam Forni. After a mutual exchange of the causticities adjoining on insults, they decide to play «Russian roulette». Рино and Sam leave a casino on parking place and start to "shoot" by turns to itself at a head from a revolver, the charged one cartridge. After each single click the drum is scrolled, inevitably approaching the moment of a fatal shot. Eventually, Рино drops out to shoot the last – at it does not remain any chances. About itself(himself) having said goodbye to a life, it brings a revolver barrel to a temple, the misfire pulls the trigger and …! Sighed with simplification Рино nevertheless at once accuses Sam that that specially all has arranged to humiliate it (a revolver belonged to Sam). Between them verbal duel is again fastened. To put all points over «i», Sam suggests Рино to battle in so-called «резаный poker», that is poker in which the rate on a game is the finger lost. Рино agrees, and they come back in a casino …

On my deep belief, «Резаный poker» is one of the weakest episodes of the second season of a serial. A crazy plot, the marasmic ending. If not excellent game (but not in this poker!) Хенриксена and Тига (the scene of "Russian roulette» is especially magnificent) to look in general there was nothing. Definitely, Уолтеру Hilla is time for "fastening" with minifilms.

With the big stretch 3 from 5.

Author's translation

«Баек from a crypt» «The Switch» ("Exchange") has taken part in the second episode of the second season remarkable actor's collective – legendary «the eternal old man» William Hikni («the Rose Name», «Honour of family Прицци», «the love Sea»), classical theatrical actor Ien Eberkrombi («Гарфилд 2», «Wild, wild Вест», «Park of the Jursky period 2»), ridiculous and simultaneously ominous Plenty Броксмит («the Road on Вэлвилл», «Improvised Хадсакера», «to Recollect all»), charming wife John Travolta Kell Preston ("Twins", «That wanted by the girl», «the Top view is better»). However the main thing here not fine actor's structure, and that "Exchange" became our favourite "iron" Arnold Schwarzenegger's debut (the trilogy about Терминатора, «Truthful lie», "Predator", the governor of the State of California etc.) as the director. By the way, it too "was lighted" in this episode, more precisely, in a prologue to it, having acted as the leader together with the Keeper of a crypt.

Advanced years decrepit, but rich Карлтон Уэбстер (William Hikni) is enamoured in very young Linda (Kell Preston). He says to true butler Fultonu (Иэн Эберкромби), that is intended to offer it a hand and heart. Thus naive and slightly self-confident Уэбстер he does not wish to admit to Linda that the millionaire. The rich man considers, that Linda should grow fond of money not belonging to it, and him. Уэбстер comes to the girl and, preliminary having told, that it is rather poor, does to it the offer. To its big grief, she informs it, that with pleasure would marry it if it was younger. Upset Уэбстер goes to the plastic surgeon behind the help – he thirsts to rejuvenate itself(himself). However that says to it, that can make a number of cosmetic operations, however not in forces to overcome an old age. The despaired millionaire begs to recommend any expert who could change its appearance considerably. After some fluctuations, the surgeon nevertheless gives Уэбстеру co-ordinates there is nobody the doctors, capable it to make. However he warns Уэбстера, that services of this doctor stand extremely expensively. The millionaire convinces him, that it is ready to spend any sum to become young. In the late evening Уэбстер comes to the specified doctor who lives and is engaged in the practice in gloomy, a Gothic kind, a private residence. The doctor (Plenty Броксмит), more similar to the mad scientist, assures Уэбстера, that can help it. It acquaints the rich man with атлетически the combined handsome man Hans (Рик Россович – «Терминатор», «the Best marksman») and says Уэбстеру, that will change their persons. To Hans it is indifferent, that it will have an old face – it money interests only. After the operation, standing one million dollars which very much resembled manipulations of doctor Frankenshtejna on revival collected of parts of corpses of the monster, Уэбстер has received person Hans. Pleased, it meets again Linda who, to its big disappointment, advises to it to change a torso. Уэбстер comes back to the doctor who, having received already two million dollars, "gives" it Hans's body. Its appearance again does not suit the girl – she wants, that it had young feet. Having given the last of three million dollars, Уэбстер receives new feet. It remains without copeck and even is compelled to dismiss the butler as not it is more it to contain in a condition. Happy, with colours in the hands, inspired with love, the former millionaire goes to the beloved. However it is waited by the big surprise …

Арни has removed amusing, very instructive episode with original enough, but predicted for many the ending. In due time "Beatles" sang «Can’t Buy Me Love», however in a life, frequently, all occurs very much the other way. Nevertheless, this episode has seemed to me very monotonous and dullish – it is better to Schwarzenegger to act in film, rather than to remove.

Unfortunately, 3 from 5.

Author's translation.

The second season «Баек from a crypt» has opened an episode «Dead Right» («the Terrible truth»), removed already familiar to us on a series «Only a sin» Hovardom Deitch. This elegant episode is remarkable that in it confidently winning popularity still young and full of sexual energy Demi Moore ("Twilight", "Soldier Jane", «the Indecent offer») has played a leading role.

Shitty and greedy to money girl Katie (Demi Moore) during a lunch break leaves office and runs to the fortuneteller of Madam Vorne (Natalia Nogulich, the American television actress) to learn, whether there is at it a chance to grow rich. Madam Vorna foretells to it, that this day it will lose the work, but at once will be arranged on the new. Katie, having counted the fortuneteller of the madwoman, comes back in office. Thinking, that the chief is not present at office, Katie loudly speaks about it unflattering things to the colleague. Having heard its words, chief who has just entered into an office discharges it from office. Casually passing by a night bar, Katie receives the offer from the owner of an institution to work there as the waitress. Not having other plans concerning the future labour activity, she agrees. Next day Katie, definitively having believed in words of Madam Vorny, again to it comes. The fortuneteller informs Katie, that she will get acquainted with big (not in sense of authority) an average prosperity the man whom Katie soon will marry. Besides, Madam Vorna says to the girl, that its future husband will receive the rich inheritance then will die a violent death. In the evening in a bar to Katie busily sticks it is immense the thick local habitue, the dear visitor of the owner by name of Чарли Марно (remarkable role Джеффри Тамбора – «Хеллбой: the Hero from a scorching heat», «Гринч – the thief of Christmas»). They start to meet. On one of appointments Чарли does to it the offer to marry it. Hardly having overcome feeling of disgust, Katie decides to become wife Charli. For Katie dreaming of luxury and riches, the new, dreadful life of the housewife begins – it erases the extreme sizes underwear Чарли, sleeps with it in one bed, is compelled to look daily how he ugly eats behind a table etc. Differently, prophecies of Madam Vorny have not come true – the life has turned to a hell, and Чарли it has appeared the rather poor person who does not have provided relatives which could leave to it the good inheritance. Nevertheless, once Katie comes into shop that something to buy, and suddenly it is surrounded with congratulations with all its employees and it is not known whence the undertaken TV men with chambers – it becomes the millionth visitor of shop and wins one million dollars. Happy Katie with a heap of cash comes home and on eyes amazed Чарли starts to pack the things for ever to leave hated to it apartment and to leave from the disgusting husband. She considers, that Madam Vorna was mistaken. But fortunetellers never are mistaken …

In my opinion, at Deitch very graceful episode with rather original unexpected ending this time has turned out. It is recommended to viewing especially to those who counts on "easy" money and trusts in predictions of fortunetellers (on my firm belief, to them it it is better not to go at all – so more easy).

Without meditations – 5 from 5.

Amusing enough episode «Баек from a crypt» «Collection Completed» («the Full collection») has turned out at Mary Lambert («City legends 3: Bloody Mary», «the Cemetery of pets» 1 and 2). Charm and humour to a minifilm are given by remarkable game of talented veterans of Hollywood Эммета Уолша («Wild, wild Вест», «Running on an edge», «Harrys and Hendersons»), Odra Линдли ("Relict", «Sudden death») and Martin Garnera («About the God! You the Devil», «the Twilight zone»). Odra Линдли, the moments very reminding hotly favourite by all experts on the Soviet cinema the grown old Hope Румянцеву (the "Girls" "Resistant", «the Queen of a gaz station») is especially charming.

The hero of this episode Джонас (Эммет Уолш) has retired after 47 years of labour activity. From work it comes back with a useless gift (for some reason always last working day to the future pensioners give the most unnecessary things) – the big chromeplated decorative hammer. Its house is waited by pleasant and lovely wife Anita. At Джонаса, got used to "vanish" all time for work, the new carefree life of the old man who has served the century begins. It very much is not pleasant to it, he tries to find to itself(himself) any employment, having begun with a feverish hairstyle of bushes in a house court yard. Eternally angry Джонаса the various animals which have lodged at it in the house – dogs, cats, birds, even constantly exasperate fibers whom Anita gently looks after. Earlier Джонас, eternally occupied with work, did not pay any attention to the wife and its strangeness. And here – everywhere «our little brothers» and Anita constantly lisped with them. To big indignation Джонаса, the wife feeds the pupils better, than it is to it it puts on a table dietary dishes, and animals treats to meat and others вкусностями. Джонас does not understand, that having exchanged the wife for work, it as though itself has prompted it on creation of own circle of contacts with animals – she talks to them as with people, shares the problems and joyful events. Differently, Anita has weaned from the husband. He is worn out also annoying by the neighbour the Plenty (Martin Garner), too the pensioner repeating Джонасу, that it needs to find any hobby. Thus the Plenty during each visit to Джонасу fills up with its boxes with models of planes, the ships etc. type «make itself» literally. Anita reaches already before, that addresses with poor Джонасом as with a pet and feeds with its meal intended for them. He already starts to hate animals fierce hatred. Eventually, driven to despair Джонас thinks out to itself a new hobby which is pleasant to it and, on its deep belief, Anita …

The morals of minifilm Ламберт are obvious and rather actual for our pragmatical validity – do not allow work to change your family. Look this series to learn, consequences of the inattentive relation to the wife and family values can be what heavy.

Safely I put «the Full collection» firm 5 of 5.

Remarkable, full of "black humour», an episode the first season «Баек from a crypt» comes to an end with this. To a meeting in the second season!